Sometimes we don’t consider whether our being a “good citizen” causes trouble for others. I saw this the other day. You have the right of way but slow down and stop for another car to turn into your lane. That car thanks you and proceeds to turns into your lane and comes face to face with a car in the lane next to you, with a driver who followed the traffic rules and observed the right of way. If you had followed the traffic rules and continued on your way without unnecessarily yielding, that car would’ve turned when they properly had their right of way, and this accident would have been avoided.
There was a time when we would give our leftovers to the homeless. If we didn’t give it to them we would’ve just thrown them in the trash. It seemed like an obviously good and non-wasteful thing to do. But after doing that, the homeless would return and harass both our employees and customers for more food. The trouble wasn’t worth it. Being a good citizen turned out to do more harm than good.
Do you have any personal examples of when being a good citizen turned out bad results?
บางทีเราลืมคิดว่า การเป็นคนดีของเรานี้ มันสร้างโทษให้กับคนอื่นไหม วันก่อนมีรถคันนึงขับตามสิทธิผ่านตามกฏจาราจรอยู่ดีๆ ก็ชะลอและหยุดให้รถที่จะเลี้ยวเข้าเลน รถที่จะเลี้ยวเข้ามาก็ถือโอกาสเลี้ยวเลย ทั้งๆ ที่ตามกฏจาราจรเขาไม่มีสิทธ์ พอเลี้ยวเขามาก็มาเจอรถในเลนข้างๆ กัน ที่ขับตามสิทธิผ่านของกฏจาราจรอยู่ และไม่ได้ชะลอเหมือนรถคนดีคนนั้น ถ้าคนดีขับตามกฏจาราจรอย่างคนอื่นๆ นั้น ก็จะไม่มีอุบัติเหตุ
เคยมีช่วงนึงที่เอาอาหารที่เหลือจากร้านอาหารให้คนขอทานแถวๆ นั้น คิดว่าให้เขามันดีกว่าทิ้งลงถังขยะ แต่พอทำไปแล้ว คนขอทานก็เข้ามายุ้งมากวนลูกน้องและลูกค้าของเรา ปัญหาที่ตามมาไม่ค้มกับความดีที่ทำไปเลย กลายเป็นว่า เป็นคนดีมันก็ไม่ได้ดีเท่าไหร่
มีตัวอย่างจากชีวิตจริงไหม ที่การเป็นคนดีของเรานี้ กลายเป็นเรื่องไม่ดี
Yes I have an example to share here.My neighbor’s goes to the same school that my daughter goes except that he is in a different class.My neighbor has been a very polite and helpful person to me since I moved next to her.One day when I picked my daughter from school I saw her son waiting for his mom.I didn’t want to leave him alone so I called my neighbor’s phone to let her know that I will bring him home.But she kept cutting my call and it was already 30 mins of wait and the boy said let’s go May be mom is asleep.Now I brought him home after leaving her a voicemail about it.When we reached I realized that her mom was in the school looking for him and was so panicked that she was calling everyone else cutting my calls.Finally when we met after another hour she was so angry and unhappy that she didn’t like to look at me.She just grabbed her son’s hand and said ,”How many times have I told you to wait for me?You scared me now get home”.That day I learnt that I should have simply directed the boy to office which he was comfortable with as his mom used to be late most of the times and I could have saved my wait time and would have not panicked her.Thinking that I was returning her help I messed it up and our relationship broke.I didn’t want to try something to mend and I left it there for her to take her time and come back to me.And she did after 3 months but wasn’t the same.
I notice that traffic jams in thailand are sometimes caused by good citizens. A car from a small lane tries to turns to a main road with a long line of cars during rush hours. The car from the small lane doesn’t have the right of turn but still turns because a “good driver” on the main road stops his to let this car turn. The stopping makes the main road a little busier. With more than one kind drivers doing the same thing over and over again, the line would get longer and longer. The driver who just turns might think that that driver on the main road is a kind person and might (or might not) do the same in next intersection. If drivers are not so kind to let cars turing from small lanes and driving rules are followed properly, could the traffic situation be eased? also following the traffic rules and not letting other cars to turn when they are no right of turn makes them seem bad persons? and of course there are drivers who think the others are not more in a hurry than themselves and stop in the middle of an intersection in a traffic jam.