Start with the truth. For example, a woman went to the temple to tell a monk she knew that she was going to practice dhamma in another state. The monk told her that practicing dhamma in that way was only for the aim of gaining compliments from others. The person immediately felt uncomfortable and irritated. The first step is recognizing that you are experiencing discomfort, unhappiness, or as we call it in dhamma terms, dukkha (suffering).
Identify the cause. Continuing with this example, the person has to figure out why discomfort has arisen as a result of the monk’s comment. When informing the monk of your plans to practice dhamma in another state, what was the reaction you expected from him? Agreement or compliments? Or at least, did you expect for him to sit in silence? That’s still better than criticism, right? If you can see that in this situation you were only expecting one side of the coin (compliments only), you will see that you are the one responsible for your feelings of discomfort. Only then can you develop a correct viewpoint and eradicate the feelings of unease with this newfound understanding.
Internalized Reflection. Consider the consequences and benefits. In this case, what are the repercussions that arise from criticism and compliments? Start from the general case- what examples can we readily identify from those in the media, friends, or relatives? What happened to Michael Jackson when he received compliments? And when he received criticism? Then bring it closer, and reflect inwards. Have we ever complimented or criticized others? When (important to find a specific, concrete example), and why (be honest with yourself, here)? Identify the reasons why we compliment and criticize others. What are the benefits and consequences?
Worldly object. What worldy object was involved in this case? In this case, money for the airplane ticket was the cause of the whole incident. Without the plane ticket, there would be no reason for the monk to criticize the person.
Apply. Now consider what other worldy objects have been the foundation for other discomfort you experienced in the past. What is the true nature of worldly objects? What is this money, that is the cause of multiple arguments? Who does the money belong to, what is it, and who designated our understanding of it? Isn’t it only a product of the four worldly elements (water, wind, fire, earth)? Just like us?? And won’t we all meet the same fate?
Now, for homework, here’s a case for you to figure out-
A person gets angry everytime he sees a monk using a cellular phone. What is the way to consider this issue, using the 5-step process??? I’ll be waiting for your answers! (Step 2 is very important)
No Comments