Having just returned from our Buddhist Pilgrimage to Nepal and India, there are many things to talk about. One incident that particularly stands out is one in which 8 of our 47 tour members had to stay at a separate hotel for one night.
Some had volunteered without having seen the hotel. Some had to go along because their roommate had volunteered. However, each of the eight individuals felt that it wasn’t fair for them to pay the same amount of money as the other tour members, but to have to stay in a sub-par hotel.
After a rough night, we discussed what happened on our tour bus the next day. One way to look at it is that the eight people just had plain bad luck. Another way to look at it is that the eight people were the luckiest of all the tour members. Why would I say that?
One of the eight had willingly volunteered because she wanted to test herself and go against her normal tendency to avoid volunteering for something of this nature. Once she found herself in the old, dirty, unsafe hotel room she became angry. Then she looked back into her past, to her family problems, and saw that those problems stemmed from her same pattern of behavior. Thinking of her unresolved anger towards her mother, she realized that she was the one who had volunteered to live away from home and care for her grandmother. Her mother hadn’t volunteered or forced her to go, as she had perceived to be the case this entire time. She saw that in both the grandmother and hotel situations, she had volunteered without asking for more information. She didn’t realize what she was getting herself into. In both situations, she could’ve spoken up and expressed her discontent, but she chose not to. There was no one to blame but herself.
This practitioner was able to use this situation to her advantage. She dug up old grudges and discovered how she was the root cause of her anger and resentment towards others. To reap more benefit from this situation and contemplation, the root cause must be destroyed through evaluation. Use the same old tools: impermanence, suffering, harmful consequences, impending perils. Related to living with the grandmother, isn’t it true that that experience has shaped her into the people-smart, street-smart person she is now? That her younger brother missed out on so many opportunities that allowed her to mature?
And regarding the hotel rooms being uninhabitable – is the hotel really that bad? Is it truly unsafe? What determines safety or cleanliness? Who determines it? Is it perceived the same way by all people? Or is it solely a personal opinion? These are all considerations to make when evaluating our wrong viewpoints. This is only an example of how a bad situation can be turned into a valuable lesson. Do you have one to share? Please comment below.
Awesome post! Similarly we all make mistakes thinking we are forced into a wrong place assuming it to be unsafe, unhygienic, etc.The twin tower which used to be the safest proved to be a worst nightmare and so none can be pre assumed to be safe.What has to happen will always happen wherever we are.By going through the flow we always see one of these, 1. Happiness or 2.Lessons to learn to move towards happiness.It is in how we see it in order to put that experience to some use.
The second time I visited my then girlfriend and now wife, Meaw, in Bangkok, she stayed with me at the Hilton Millenium on the River. I prepaid the room for 10 days. We had a nice room with breakfast included, it was very convenient. During the trip, Meaw told me that she had to go back to her room because she wanted to give an offering of food to the monks in the morning. I said that I would go with her and stay in her room. Yeah, that one night I didn’t stay at the Hilton cost me about $170, but I saw this as an opportunity. Her room was a drastic difference from the Hilton….no aircon, only running water which was very cold and a straw mat to sleep on. Was I upset? No, to me it was a experience. I saw how she lived which helped me understand her and was able to experience a part of Thai culture I learned to love. After that, I just stayed with her. Was it below my normal standard of living? Yes. Did I mind? No. I learned to adapt. It helped me appreciate what I had in life and appreciate Meaw. Oh yeah before my next trip out there, Meaw bought a thin mattress for me, but really I would have been just as happy on the straw mat. Life is about experiences, not always comfort.